Cheat Codes ©

"Gamble, cheat, lie, and steal. Let me explain: Gamble for your best shot in life - dare to take risks. Cheat those who would have you be less than you are. Lie in the arms of those you love. And finally, steal every moment of happiness." - Caitlyn Jenner

If life has taught me anything, it has taught me this: Work smart, not hard. Who wouldn't want a copy of "Life's Cliff Notes". It has been said that we experience the things we do in life to teach us lessons to improve our quality of life and/or share with others to help them avoid making certain mistakes. I mean after all, sharing is most definitely caring. Oversharing is not though..... Keep some stuff to yourself, yo. 

More on that later.

So! In the spirit sharing, I figured I'd show you good folks a little love and share a few Life Cheat Codes I've picked up over my many summers to help you win at the game of life. Now … this isn't nearly all of them, and trust me I have compiled many of them over the years. I may actually take the time to put them in a book one day. However, in the meantime here are few to hold you over until then:

CHEAT CODE #1: 

The only way to "fix" a man is to provide him with a safe place to evolve. However, this is generally not the case in today's society. This scenario typically - not generally but usually - plays out with said woman having little to no respect for the man she helped "build" because "you'd be nothing without me."

It has been my experience that MOST (not ALL, but most) women either want a partner they can "fix" or one that will "level them up." I personally don't see an issue with the latter as long as she's reciprocating in kind. The former however is toxic AF. Men aren't science fair projects and aren't as complicated as they are depicted to be. When it comes to relationships (of any kind), a man will only do what he is allowed to do. It is honestly as simple as that. You just need our "cheat code" to unlock our true relationship potential. More on that later.

Here's the thing, a man is only TRULY coachable if he actually loves his partner and honestly feels like the person is worth the effort.

You can want the sun, the moon and the stars for him but he's not going to do anything he doesn't want to do UNLESS he feels like it's worth his time and effort. Point, blank, period.

CHEAT CODE #2:

Stop disappointing yourself by wanting more for someone than they want for themselves. Stop disappointing yourself by wanting more from someone than they are able or even willing to give. Life gets so much simpler when we realize that when it's all said and done, people can only be as successful as they visualize themselves to be. We can give them the tools and even show them how to use them, but we can't make them use them. That's totally up to them.

CHEAT CODE #3:

Want to be a good human? Be a good listener, be respectful, be thoughtful, Be mindful, be accountable, be responsible, be disciplined, be benevolent, reciprocate, be present, be honest, be consistent and empathetic. 

CHEAT CODE #4:

It's ok to not know something. It's ok to say that you don't know something as long as it's followed quickly by "but I will definitely see what I can find out." It's ok to ask questions (at the appropriate time....read the room). "It's ok to not say anything if you don't understand what's being discussed...…"It's better to be silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."

What's not ok is speaking confidently on something that you know nothing about. What's not ok is not doing your due diligence before speaking on something you know nothing about. What's not ok is spreading false information as if it's rooted in fact and truth. What's not ok is getting people to cosign on the ignorance.

I'm pretty over all of the willful ignorance I see on display now. Especially given the fact that everyone pretty much is walking around with a computer in their pocket. Carrying around a Smartphone doesn't automatically make you smart. Put some of those other nifty features to use. They're good for more than just live streaming, taking pictures and stalking people's pages.

CHEAT CODE #5:

Subtly is a lost art. We now live in a society inhabited by individuals that leave absolutely NOTHING to the imagination all in the pursuit of attention whether it be good or bad. Inviting people into your every day routine and documenting your every move but then getting angry and disrespectful when someone comments on it. Folks are literally out here recording themselves in real time committing crimes. The lunatics unfortunately are not only running the asylum but they turned that joint into an Airbnb.  I'm old enough to remember randomly taking a pic at certain public events was an absolute no no (At least that's how it was around my way). Everyone was not trying to have their location and activities broadcasted for the whole world to see. Unfortunately, in the the world we live in now there are virtually cameras everywhere. On your phones, on and in your homes, on light posts and stop lights, even random drones flying overhead. I long for a return to a time when people valued discretion. 

CHEAT CODE #6:

Playing the victim of the circumstances that you create is wild work. If you Spiritual Discernment, Emotional Intelligence and Critical Thinking Skills, you're uniquely equipped to navigate what life throws at you. Having the aforementioned abilities (Hell, in this day and age you may as well call them superpowers), allows you better "read the room" . A great many of society's issues could be easily remedied if people just took a little time to be a tad more introspective and mindful of how their behavior and actions affects others.

We need more:

• Unity
• Subtly
• Empathy
• Discretion
• Critical Thinking
• Intelligent discourse
• Due diligence
• Common sense
• logical decision making
• Emotional Intelligence
• Accountability
• Responsibility

And Less:

• Divisiveness
• Meaningless conversations
• Clout chasing
• Gaslighting
• Selfishness
• And last but CERTAINLY not least.... Use of the word "woke". I'm just saying, I'm f*cking over it (Just figured I'd throw that one in there but that's another topic for another time).

CHEAT CODE #7:

A place should be better for you having been there and not the other way around. Your life should be better for having a person in it. If that's not the case, you may want quietly (or not) exit stage left. The things and people you entertain says more about you than it does about the person or thing. You can't keep poking the bear then get mad it it because it wakes up and rips your arm off.

CHEAT CODE #8:

One of the many problems that plague today's society is cognitive dissonance. 

The Oxford Language Dictionary defines Cognitive Dissonance as the state of having inconsistent thoughts, beliefs, or attitudes, especially as relating to behavioral decisions and attitude change. In other words, excusing behavior that you know is against everything that you have ever known to be moral and just (i.e. Evangelicals supporting a known adulterer, thief and liar for the highest office in the land.....but I digress). People of the most questionable character are placed on pedestals only to be snatched down later for showing you who they really are …. which in the grand scheme of things is a pretty childish way of operating in this world. Besides, half of the people we idolize didn't ask to be placed on that pedestal anyway. Most know they are flawed and are probably shocked or irritated to have been placed there to begin with. That's why today the adage " Never meet your heroes" has never rung truer.

CHEAT CODE #9:

The average comprehension level of a full grown adult in America is anywhere between 5th and 8th grade. Let that settle in for a second. While you're processing that, allow me to add a little context to help you understand the point I'm trying to make. The average fifth (5th) grader is 10–11 years old, the average sixth (6th) grader is 11-12 years old, seventh (7th) grader 12-13 years old...….and so on. How much actual life experience did any of us have at 10-13 years of age?. My point is, you can't expect people who don't even know how to do grown folks stuff to do grown folks stuff. Now don't get it twisted, that does not excuse them from leveling up. A person is responsible for their own evolution and growth. Yes, there are some exterior factors that may aid or impair your progress, but overall it is on you to build the life you want or even need for yourself. Ultimately, the life you build is dependent upon the choices that make (or don't make). 

Now consider this before any future adult interactions …  and proceed accordingly.

CHEAT CODE #10:

Going forward, before entering a discussion with anyone you randomly meet..... you're gonna wanna ask the following questions (You'll thank me later):

• Can you write in cursive?
• Can you read an analog clock (A clock with hands for the uninitiated)?
• Can you read a paper map?
• Does pineapple go on pizza?
• Blunts, Black 'n' Mild or Newports
• Liquor...… Brown or Clear?
• Android or iPhone?
• Can you spell Quiet (Like shhhhhh)?
• How do you say Specific?
• Does sugar go on rice/ grits?

The answers will definitely determine what sort of conversation you're about to have.

Life's a game. You may as well have fun playing it. Making smart and sensible decisions is tantamount to having an excellent quality of life. Hopefully the codes I just provided you with will unlock your ability to level up.