Hard Truths

A "hard truth" refers to a reality, fact, or piece of information that is difficult to accept, confront, or acknowledge, often because it's unpleasant, uncomfortable, or goes against what one wishes were true. It's something that, despite its difficulty, is undeniably true and often necessary to face for growth, progress, or effective problem-solving.

Hard Truths can at times be:

• Unpleasant or Uncomfortable

• Challenging to Accept

• Undeniable Reality

• Necessary for Progress

• Often Ignored or Avoided

• Can Be Personal or Universal

For example:

“I'm the one that keeps resuscitating dead situations.”

“I have no one to blame but myself (Sometimes, it is your fault).”

“People have moved on. I should too.”

“I'm an option for everyone I make a priority. That makes me feel stupid sometimes.”

This is especially true when it comes to love and relationships. 

If I care about you, I make you priority. Even when it doesn't feel like the feeling is mutual. Making someone a priority does not mean you put them ahead of everyone or everything else. It just means treating them the way you would like to be treated. When you care about someone you don’t just tell them, you show them. It doesn't have to be anything grand or spectacular. Just show some effort. Reach out to them first sometimes. Ask them about their day without them having to talk to you about yours. You're not the only one going through something.

All I know is that it is exhausting constantly being taken for granted. Like I'm always going to be here listening to your problems and checking on you. It can be disheartening feeling like you’re all alone yet supposedly you have all these people that care about you. At some point you get tired of all the lip service. A person's word used to mean something.

If you say you're going to do something, then do it. All any of us has is our word. We're all busy. That doesn't exempt you from keeping your word. Stuff happens yes. If you can't honor your word.... then just say that. It's a respect thing. If that's too much for someone to do, then that’s a definite indicator that person doesn’t respect you. If a person doesn’t respect you then there's no way that they could care about you. Quite frankly, there's just no way around that.

Folks really just need to start matching other people’s energy no matter what their “history” may be.

If I care about you.... if I love you.... I’m accountable to you. However, you say you love me or that you care about me, then you are accountable for your behavior towards me. That's the long and the short of it. That's why I do not use the word love recklessly. Stop telling people you love them when in all actuality you only like them for what they can offer or provide. Stop wasting people's time if you're not going to treat them in a thoughtful and respectful manner. Time is precious. Once it's gone, you can't get it back. I'm done wasting mine and I'm done allowing people to waste mine. I'm going to spend whatever Summers I have left doing only what is in my best interest. Just like everyone around me has decided to do. The first rule of survival is self-preservation. Being selfless for selflessness’ sake is a recipe for destruction.

Just because a person is not cursing you out or trying to finesse you, doesn't mean they're showing you love. You're not supposed to be doing those things to people that you love or care about anyway. You're not doing me a favor by not being disrespectful towards me....... You're supposed to respect people that respect you. That's kind of how it works.

Respect comes in all forms:

• Effort

• Accountability for one’s actions

• Responsibility for one’s actions

• Reciprocation

• Being trustworthy

• Being kind

• Being thoughtful

• Being mindful

• Valuing someone's time

• Honoring someone's effort

• Honoring your word

• Being selfless

• Not being judgmental/ Meeting people "where they are"

• Respecting boundaries

There are other ways. This list isn't all inclusive.

If doing any of the aforementioned things is a chore for you, then you may want to evaluate if you truly care about the person. If you're having a difficult time getting someone that says they care about you to consistently do any of the aforementioned things for you, then you may want to evaluate whether or not the person actually cares about you.

No one's perfect. Life is complicated. Priorities shift. Shit happens. However, consistency and a sincere effort to make the people you care about feel "seen" and appreciated isn't a chore. You should never make someone that makes you a Priority feel like an Option.

God honors effort......and so should you.

I can respect you and not love you, but I can't love you and not respect you.

Some people are so toxic that they view their toxicity as normalcy.

Pause. Reflect. Atone. Forgive. Heal. Love. In that order.... Begin within.

Accountability and authenticity goes a long way towards reconciliation.

Pride and ego corrupts the heart.

I don't need nor do I want anything from anyone that they are either unwilling or unable to freely give.

If the person you love or claims that they love is unable to meet you where you are, that says more about them than it does about you. They have actually said the quiet part out loud. Once you understand where that person’s stands when it comes to you and your wellbeing, what happens next is totally up to you. Just know that your choice either is going to liberate you or further enable them. Forget closure. Forget about trying to get back what’s been lost (Time, Money, Effort, etc.). Forget an apology. For what, people rarely apologize when they feel like they are right and have a delusional sense of entitlement.

Besides, why would I ever want a person to apologize for being themselves.

No apology necessary. With all due respect, this is just who and what they are...... For better or worse. No hard feelings, though. You’re good, and quite honestly that is all you should be actually concerned about. I've neglected what's actually important to me to accommodate others and make them “comfortable”. It took me a minute to realize that. However, once I did, I did the work. The work necessary to reclaim your individuality. Sometimes when you love someone ….  I mean truly love someone, it’s easy to lose yourself. Just know that that is ok. Love requires vulnerability. Just make sure that the person you risk it all for is truly worth the sacrifice.